It finally happened earlier this winter.

I brought my son out to the car in his big, poofy winter coat, threaded him into the back seat, and sat him down in our larger car seat booster with a five-point harness. But no matter which angle I tried to close the straps by, the buckles wouldn’t latch. It had been coming for a while. He was almost six years old at that point. After the last flight we took before the pandemic hit, it was already clear that the car seat we had been using for flights had taken its final voyage. But struggling with those straps and canceling our plans because my son was just too big for the seat was a harsh slap in the face.

The struggle with getting a new seating system for not just one but two vehicles is that there is rarely any middle ground when looking for special needs car seating. We had asked various therapists and physicians over the years about options, but nearly always they referred us to search online. As if we didn’t already do that. Also, if a specialist is aware of a specific brand or item, it is usually something with a high level of support as well as cost. But our son’s needs fit somewhere in the middle between maximum support and typical requirements.

Our little guy can sit in a car seat pretty well at this point, but if he gets wiggly he can just slither out of a booster seat and not get back into it. And if he feels like sitting up straight in the back seat is a bore, he could slide down and lay sideways and then complain about his choice until we helped him back up. Just thinking about dealing with that while driving stresses me out.

So, I had to figure something out.

But first, let me give an example of how easy it is to get exasperated with this stuff.

All I wanted is a seat to keep my child in while in the car. That’s it. A friggen seat belt chair. So, friends, let’s get in the car and go to the jolly ol’ store and buy one!

Hmmm…they have some here at Target. But my son is a Kindergartener yet needs a five-point harness. Let’s see, there must be one around that’s larger than my current chair.

Ah…here we go.

Yes, that’s right, the only seat even remotely close to our needs is one designed for children from the moment of birth up to the age they start shaving. And that price is a fun one as well. We could spend $700 on a pair of seats for both cars and get like a year out of them. They’re also very heavy, so that’s cool.

Meanwhile, here’s the typical booster seat we got for my daughter at my son’s age.

For crying. Out. Loud. And that’s an expensive booster! You can get bases that are little more than egg containers duct-taped together for even cheaper.

Side note: why would I need an insurance protection plan on car seats? It’s like selling me a parachute and offering to sell insurance right before my kid jumps out of the plane.

Moving on…

Of course, the typical suggestion that’s made is that we should get a special needs booster. And, of course, those do exist. Nobody necessarily tells you the best way to get one or if and how insurance will cover it, so we are typically sent a link to a site that will happily sell us one.

I will say, that’s a fine-looking seat right there. It would definitely work and fit for a long time.

Here’s the thing though. A year ago, I would say my son definitely needed all the support this kind of seat offers. But now, that price tag just looks like a money fire. Mostly because (as least as of now) he sits calmly with strength. We just need a full harness on something a little bigger.

Luckily, my internet browsing turned up a winner!

eSpecialNeeds sells a strap system that I didn’t know existed. I don’t even remember how I found it, I think I literally started Googling “Booster Seat With Five-Point Harness” or something. In the end, we got this.

Since my daughter just turned old enough to get out of her boosters, I decided to repurpose them for her brother and try out the conversion straps. They basically clip onto the car seat top anchor point in the car with three straps attached - two shoulder straps and a third that goes under the child and up between the legs for a kind of pommel strap. Then the regular seat belt is threaded through loops at the bottom of all three and buckled.

I will say a couple of things. Firstly, I’m still not entirely sure what we’re going to do about flying, though we have a long time before we actually need to worry about that because of Covid-19. By then, a booster seat and lap belt may be all we need anyway. Secondly, it does require a slight bit more patience to buckle everything up than it did before, but that may just be the learning curve. My son has been patient so far as I get him set, so that has helped.

So far, no wiggling out or any other kind of problems. And eventually, he can even use it for a normal seat when he gets even bigger. So I’m hoping this is a solution that will stick for a long time and hopefully lets us eventually put car seats, thankfully, behind us.